Unpacking First Semester

The mission statement of Outtatown is: knowing God, knowing yourself, and knowing the world”. This is something that I’ve been in the process of learning and since coming home for Christmas, I’ve been able to slowly unpack all the lessons and experiences I’ve had this past semester. I’m gaining a greater understanding of God’s will in my life and what that means.
Coming into this year I had been struggling with a few things; one being confidence in myself, another being my relationship with God, and a third being to find God’s direction in my life for when this year is over.

Confidence: This year has been helping me identify my God given gifts and talents, which has been amazing. What I’m finding more and more valuable is the realization that these gifts aren’t meant for how much I can do for myself, they are meant to be used in the world and the community around me.

My gifts are not something I should hold onto with a closed fist, they are something I need to hold with my palms up and open. It’s amazing then how my confidence has been growing since I’ve started using my gifts to honour those around me, and not for the purpose of them liking me, but just because there’s a need and God has enabled me to fill it. My confidence is not found in how much I know or the things I can do that others can’t, it’s in the realization that God made each of us extremely different and yet extremely beautiful. My gifts are needed in certain areas, but there are also times when I need to step back and allow others to utilize the gifts they have to fill the gaps. Identifying my responsibility in a group or community and as well as what is not my responsibility has done wonders for my confidence. The fact is that I don’t have feel responsible for taking every issue onto my own shoulders.

This translates into knowing the world: once we know our gifts and talents, we can explore the world (be it South Africa or just our home church) and identify areas that we can use these gifts to make a difference. I have the opportunity to go to South Africa in a few weeks and gain a whole new insight into a different culture and world. I’m realizing that with increased knowledge, comes increased responsibility and although I’m still unsure of what that means for me at this point, I know God is going to reveal amazing things to me and my group.

Relationship with God: I’ve always struggled immensely with devotions and reading my Bible. I’ve always to some degree had a heart after God and have found it easy to have faith in Him. I’ve mentored and counseled many kids and friends through the last 5-6 years, and God’s always seemed to give me the words to say despite my lack of biblical knowledge. I often feel His nudges here and there and try to follow them as best I can, but there still seems to be a gap some days. The more I look at it, the more I realize just how much of this problem is because of me being stubborn and wanting to be in control of my life and not living by faith and trusting God with it.

Going back to the things I’ve learned about confidence, I’ve held my gifts and talents so close to my own heart in attempts to make a name for myself in this world and as a result I’ve taken my gifts and have tried to run a lot of my life without God’s input; making myself likeable, holding on to money and spending it on myself and only myself in further attempts to push me up the rating system of this world. A few years ago, I choose engineering as a career choice, because it was something I’d be good at and it would bring “me” what I wanted in life. The money, the job security, the title, and at one point I even believed the type of wife I was looking for. Wow, is God ever changing my views on this!

Although I’ve completed a year of engineering, I came into this year thinking that I would never go back to it. I realized that the reasons I went into engineering were severely flawed, but throughout this semester, as I’ve sought out God’s will for my life and discovered and used some of the gifts He’s given me (leadership, encouragement, my knowledge of computers and technology, solving problems, working with my hands, dealing with different personality types) I see that maybe engineering is a good choice for me. I can see how all of my gifts can be utilized in this profession and even how I can use both my gifts and the profession to do God’s work not just my own.

I’ve learned a lot and I’m sure the learning will continue. Please continue to pray for me in this upcoming semester as I continue to realize God’s presence and direction in my life, and that he continues to work in my heart so I may make my life as a service to him.

By: Stephen Foord